Wednesday, April 9, 2008

4/22/05 Too busy to update anymore

EDIT as I compile these for the new blog: More musings from my Live Journal.

April 22, 2005 Too busy to update anymore...

Well, yikes, haven't updated in like forever. Been too busy living. Weather has been gorgeous, laundry is getting done, house is clean (well okay, the main living areas are being kept up, they aren't "spotless clean" but nothing is spotless clean when you have a dirt bowl for a backyard with 2 dogs and 2 kids....but things are clean enough to not be embarassed by our friends seeing, LOL. Still trying to catch up on all the old laundry in the basement, and the mess from the flood, but I am making progress. Even got some clothes washed up and given to Ty. Working next to get some stuff together for Jo and for Al. The next big challenge will be getting the kids rooms organized, painting their furniture and getting the toys all out of the storage boxes in the basement, but that can wait til after our trip. :-)

I'm still enjoying being a mom again. I'm really treasuring and finding pleasure in my kids again and that is a truly lovely feeling. Don't know how I managed to lose that, but I'm glad I got it back. Sure, I still have my frazzled mom moments, but hey, don't we all.....

Classes are going well. I'm enjoying being a student again. My brain had really missed that intellectual stimulation. It feels really good to be outside of the house for a bit every week. It is definately different being in school with kids though. Luckily, I've never had to study much to get good grades, hopefully that is still the case. :-) Cause currently I'm lucky to just keep up with the assignments. It is hard to find time to spend on class stuff what with the kids jumping on me, the house cleaning, the cooking, and Aidan, but it is a balancing act that is well worth it. Funny how ADDING something to my tasks actually makes me feel more positive about my ability to handle it all. Guess things just look different outside of the shadow of depression.

oh yeah, forgot to mention that my communications class is really interesting. It is an interpersonal communications class. So I'm basically learning all the communications stuff that I was supposed to learn from my parents but didn't because my family is so messed up. It is very fascinating to learn and understand more about the intricate processes of communication. It has definitely given me even more tools with which to look at and to understand some of my "crazy" issues. Behaviors, feelings, energy that I previously couldn't completely understand or give meaning to, I now can because I can look at the normal processes and see where things go array in myself. I now have a broader vocabulary that I can use to describe some of this stuff. It is so much easier to understand and to explain to others, when it isn't just a vague feeling or behavior, but a more concrete and understandable maladaption of communication.

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